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[wonderactivist]

In my mystery there are 7 major suspects.  I wrote my query following the best general advice online and from a conference, but I realized tonight that it doesn't sound very mysterious.  It focuses on the main conflict of the story which, in the absence of the other 6 conflicts, pretty succinctly tells you who did it.  I know I can't possibly go over the top suspects in the query because I tried that in early drafts and it sounded too confusing.  I can't outline the central characters along with everything else in 250 words or less. I've also been told that I shouldn't try to hide the killer in my query or my synopsis. 

Should I add a line saying there are 7 major suspects and keep the focus on the central conflict, or should I rewrite the query focusing on a feeling of uncertainty?

Thanks,

Lucie

[Lance Charnes]

The best advice I've heard for your dilemma is this: the description in your query is a slightly extended version of your dust-jacket copy; the synopsis is the Cliff Notes version of the story.

You're right that you shouldn't try to describe all seven suspects. Stick with your protag and his/her 1-2 main antagonists, and just make a reference to the other 5-6 suspects. The query should talk about the central conflict, that is, the task the protag faces in achieving his/her goal.

If you want your query gone over with brutal eyes, you can't go too far wrong with Query Shark (aka Janet Reid). She will not hold back if the query doesn't work.

[wonderactivist]

Thanks Lance,

I'll oain over this some more and maybe work up the courage for QueryShark...so far, however, it terrifies me! 

Lucie